A relationship takes work, and over the course of 35 years or more, it can very easily become overlooked. As the children start to leave home and create their own lives, two things happen: Firstly, envy can creep in. Seeing a child start their adult life at the beginning of a new career, perhaps in a passionate relationship, independent and with their whole life ahead can make you feel your life is over and you are invisible. Secondly, with no children under your roof and perhaps with less or no work, you are left to look at your partner and find that you have left it too long to revive something. Too many years have passed with no connection.
It is ironic, that at the moment that you could actually spend more time together unencumbered by domestic duties, you wish to spend less time because you realise you have nothing to say and that you hardly know your partner. In the bustle of the business of your family life, you forgot that buried in the noise of it all was your relationship. There are now many more divorces of people over 60 than there have ever been. People simply ‘wake up’ after years of running around and find they have fallen out of love. Relationships need nurturing. Whatever path you decide to take will have its hurdles -a divorce being every bit as hard as staying together through the good times and the very bad.