Are you preoccupied with what your ex is doing or saying? Do you spend much of your time talking about him or her to anyone who may listen? Are you full of anger and indignation about what you have heard from ‘friends’?

Sometimes it can feel like you are making a career out of linking everything you are experiencing to what your ex has done to you. All these feelings are normal, but you will recognise that they are not helpful and really don’t make you feel any better. Those feelings are exhausting. They are a way of keeping you stuck in a landscape of pain and negativity. They feel like self harm and a way of stopping you being present in your own life and using your energy to create a life that works for you. Thinking about your ex much of the time robs you of everything that you have and that you are.

You deserve better than that. You are enough, Small steps are what you need. Every time you notice you are doing it – pause. Think about saying or thinking something different, starting with you.