Sometimes a divorce can be so acrimonious that not only do children have reduced contact to the non resident parent but that contact is reduced altogether with that parent’s family. Grandparents needlessly lose out here, but it is the children who are the real losers in this situation. Those children who are lucky enough to have extended family are deprived of the value of this. Grandparents who were good enough before the divorce are suddenly deemed to fall far short of good enough by the mother or father who is withholding the contact. The anger and pain of separation is understandably unbearable. It is sometimes described as an emotional tsumani. No good parent sets out to harm their child or children, each parent truly believing that they have their child’s best interests at heart. However, in the emotional turmoil, it is suprisingly easy to make decisions which do have a negative impact on children such as stopping grand parent contact. Sometimes, it is the relationship with grandparents which allows a place away from the point of separation where children can express how they feel. If it isn’t then it may simply be a place where children can have a break from witnessing their parent’s grief and heartache. Not all grandparents have great relationships with their grandchildren, but those who do should have that relationship nurtured so that the children can understand fully all aspects of themselves and have a sense of familial continuity.
