I was interested to read Jesse James interview in which he said that he felt no remorse for his extra marital affair which broke up his marriage to Sandra Bullock. He also said “2010 was actually the best year of my life because I fell in love with my best friend.” What interests me is how many people display remarkable insensitivity of the impact of their affair on the partner who is left. Jesse James comments are a good example. Many people who come to our support groups say that the affair is bad enough but the public (to friends and family) display of happiness or talking about the ‘other person’ as though the marriage and the ex partner did not exist is almost intolerable. It is one thing to grieve and get over the anger and the hurt, it is another to deal with coming face to face with an unfaithful partner’s lack of regard and respect for the devastation that lies in the wake of their infidelity. I am always struck by the rather callous disregard that people have for each other when going through a separation. If the leaving partner could remember for one moment that she or he loved their spouse sufficiently to marry them, or that their spouse is the mother or father of their children then perhaps a more benevolent kind of separation would begin to emerge.
